I saw my endo last Friday, and they screened me for Cushing's by having me do a 24 hour urine test. It just so happened my brother was at a science Olympiad competition the next day, so it was just me all day. So I laid around the house, and collected my pee in a jug. Lovely. I didn't want to go because it would be a long day and I wouldn't like seeing former teammates compete, me not being able to be there because of this demon that lives inside of me. The demon that is the undiagnosed condition.
So, I'm flaring this week. Printed off countdown banners last Sunday for the tax office I help my dad at on Sundays, and all of that (an atypical amount of work. Usually it's just answer phones and do homework for 5 hours) I think did it. So I'll just chill here and watch South Park. I love that show. Kyle just punched Cartman's arm and he ran off screaming. That reminds me of when people poke my arm.
At least spring break is next week. I asked my mom if we could go down to Florida, get wasted, then arrested and her response was "you don't have enough energy". Typical response. In case the simple sentince structure is misleading you, I'm on Skelaxin.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Response to Feisty Kitten
This is in response to Feisty Kitten.
I get the "blood is thicker than water" thing. Although what my aunt did to me a few years ago was not on the same planet as almost killing my mom, it is still traumatizing to me.
A few years ago, I got very sick. 2 weeks of a 104 degree fever, followed by two weeks of vomiting my guts out. During the fevers, my aunt would call my mom and tell her to send me to school, that I was exaggerating and faking. One- how the hell do you fake a 104 degree fever and two- they won't let you to school with a fever. We tried to explain two to her, but she couldn't get it through her thick head. Then, in the second week of vomiting, she called and talked to ME. She asked me how I felt, and my response was "pretty crappy". This sent her on a tirade of "you will die if you think like that". To this day, every time somebody asks how I feel, that scenario runs through my head, and it makes me say "fine" or "good" every time. Even with non-judgmental people. My parents get an honest answer. Nobody else does. I think I can forgive her for what she did, but she has harassed me off of facebook, which was my decision. I unfriended and blocked her like my dad said when she began harassing my parents and telling them that they were teaching me to run away when times get tough (they taught me not to take shit from others). Now, I have loads of relatives I cannot contact. Friends I can't contact. All because she couldn't stop harassing me. And she guilted my grandmother into taking responsibility for her actions. She clearly sees no boundaries. My dad and his brother think before speaking. My dads sister and brother speak, then might think. With the aunt in question, I dont think she ever thinks. Since I got sick, FB has been my social lifeline. Now I have to recede into my own type of hiding. I saw her last Sunday. I would not hug her. I would not talk to her. I just glared. I might be able to forgive. It's going to be on my own schedule, though. Yes she is family. I'm not taking this from anybody though. She has never had the courage to apologize to my face for all she has done. She just keeps doing it. Hopefully by Easter things will calm down. I'm not doing this anymore just because she is family.
I get the "blood is thicker than water" thing. Although what my aunt did to me a few years ago was not on the same planet as almost killing my mom, it is still traumatizing to me.
A few years ago, I got very sick. 2 weeks of a 104 degree fever, followed by two weeks of vomiting my guts out. During the fevers, my aunt would call my mom and tell her to send me to school, that I was exaggerating and faking. One- how the hell do you fake a 104 degree fever and two- they won't let you to school with a fever. We tried to explain two to her, but she couldn't get it through her thick head. Then, in the second week of vomiting, she called and talked to ME. She asked me how I felt, and my response was "pretty crappy". This sent her on a tirade of "you will die if you think like that". To this day, every time somebody asks how I feel, that scenario runs through my head, and it makes me say "fine" or "good" every time. Even with non-judgmental people. My parents get an honest answer. Nobody else does. I think I can forgive her for what she did, but she has harassed me off of facebook, which was my decision. I unfriended and blocked her like my dad said when she began harassing my parents and telling them that they were teaching me to run away when times get tough (they taught me not to take shit from others). Now, I have loads of relatives I cannot contact. Friends I can't contact. All because she couldn't stop harassing me. And she guilted my grandmother into taking responsibility for her actions. She clearly sees no boundaries. My dad and his brother think before speaking. My dads sister and brother speak, then might think. With the aunt in question, I dont think she ever thinks. Since I got sick, FB has been my social lifeline. Now I have to recede into my own type of hiding. I saw her last Sunday. I would not hug her. I would not talk to her. I just glared. I might be able to forgive. It's going to be on my own schedule, though. Yes she is family. I'm not taking this from anybody though. She has never had the courage to apologize to my face for all she has done. She just keeps doing it. Hopefully by Easter things will calm down. I'm not doing this anymore just because she is family.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
New life- mini update
So I see an endocrinologist at the end of the month. I also see my PCP tomorrow to see if he can adjust my pain meds. I am having issues typing and I think my neurontin is becoming less effective.
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